Mutual purpose becomes important in creating a zone of safety. Sometimes these conversations become contentious not because others dislike the content of the conversation, but because they believe you have malicious intent. Make it safe for both you and the other party to have a tough conversation. Be a viligant monitor of how you are behaving in a conversation and the impact you are having. When it feels unsafe, the dialogue can easily break down. When conversations feel safe, the dialogue will be free flowing. You want to avoid the conversation moving into a mode where both parties become defensive and dialogue breaks down. The goal of a crucial conversation should be to maintain a dialogue. This will help you to avoid looking for ways to win, punish or keep the peace during the dicussion. Be clear as to what your goals are before you hold the conversation so you can keep it on track, but recognize what is at stake here for you, the other individual and your relationship. Begin with the right motives. Do you want to help a staff member improve their performance or behavior? Has the situation moved beyond this, and do you need to help the staff member recognize the need to resign or seek a transfer to another area? Is there an error in judgement that you need to discuss with a staff member who always reacts defensively. Some key ideas presented in this important book include the following:īefore you begin a crucial conversation, ask yourself what you really want to see as an outcome and what is at stake. Too often, leaders just avoid these discussions until the situation becomes very serious. Learning to effectively manage these tough conversations is an important nursing leadership skill. A crucial conversation, according to authors Patterson, Grenny, McMillian & Switzler, is one in which there are strong emotions, opposing opinions and high stakes. Whether they are about professional practice issues, time and leave problems, patient safety concerns or disrespectful behavior, these conversations are never easy. I just seem to be having many more of these conversations with staff in today’s environment, she observed. She referred to the book as her leadership bible. On her desk, I noticed a copy of the book Crucial Conversations. She has warm, easy going manner and a great sense of humor. I was impressed with the time that she had taken to share her leadership lessons learned with our graduate student. She is a seasoned critical care nurse leader with significant leadership responsibilities. Last week, I had a meeting with a nurse leader who is a preceptor to one of my graduate students in nursing leadership.
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